9th February, 2013

All this drugs hullaballoo got me thinking. If I was a young gun and was choosing whether to be a sportstar or a rockstar which would I choose? This article hopefully will provide some guidance for the youth of Australia.

Grooming

A rockstar can get around in leather pants, pierced nipples and no shirt, if a sportstar did so they would be called a poof.

Money

Most sports have a salary cap ensuring there is a maximum you can earn, there is also a minimum ensuring all are paid enough to get by.

There is no minimum salary for a rocker, some get paid virtually nothing and do it for the love of making music and working a “real job”. However there is also no earning ceiling. You can negotiate a deal for what you are commercially worth and even earn royalties for the rest of your life from just one hit.

Sex

A sport star cheats on his wife with his team mates wife in the toilet at a BBQ, is castigated from his team and the code.

A rockstar gets caught in bed naked with a fellow rockstar by his wife who politely asks if they would like some dinner.

Sportstars have a bit of a gangbang on a pre season trip, 7 years later this becomes a major investigation on national TV with a ex player losing his job and marriage in crisis.

A rock band has fun with a red head in a hotel, catch a salmon from the aquarium below and feed bits of the fish to her private parts. This tale makes them an even bigger rock legend.

Drugs and booze

In sport if you use any drug whether it enhance or prohibit your playing ability the code will ban you.

In sport if you rock up to training hungover your club will suspend you.

In rock you can have a five day bender on the rack, shag anything in sight, drink 5 litres of JD and no one bats an eyelid. You are in fact regarded as a legend.

In summary: kids go forth and learn an instrument. You can get away with fucking anything!!!!